holy moly

Tonight I think I learned something. I have been shown something. In fact, not just tonight, but I am pondering the reasons for getting to know one single person, who I shall henceforth refer to as "the possum".

As those who know me well already understand, the possum is awful. Imagine a guy who is completely lacking in any social skills or discretion at all. A complete social misfit, a man with such low self-esteem that he will put his whole persona on the line in an effort to impress someone. When meeting people, he's not at all mysterious or charming, he instead relies on arguing violently with people until he can rub in their face the fact that he was right and they were wrong - but of course, they are just not interested in continuing. His voice is obnoxious and every time he speaks it is in an overly loud voice in order to attract attention - yes, that's it - he's an attention seeker. Of course, those with extremely low self-esteem usually are. But I have never before seen a case this bad. It is positively unbelievable. Think David Brent from The Office. The similarity is astonishing.

Tonight started out as me, the possum (whom i live with) and a friend of his, P. We three began drinking in the afternoon. They invited one other person, who turned up a bit later. Meanwhile, I was invited out for drinks at a classy pub down the road with people from jujutsu class. I hung with them for 2 hours, and then came home as my friend Alex was coming over. The jujutsu people, after eating, decided to come too. They invited other people as well until we had about 15 people around, sitting on the deck drinking beers and chatting.

Of course, of those 15, 12 of them were my friends ;) I don't mean to brag, though... >:)

So, there I am chatting to all these people that I know. And if you know me, you will know that I don't like to make people feel insignificant, EVER. I believe I have a quiet confidence about myself when I meet people. I mean, I do jujutsu and i play the piano, for example - now i don't go around advertising the fact that I learn how to smash people's heads 3 times a week or that i can play songs on the piano on request, because it will make people feel like I'm "having one up" on them. Always better to be humble. As much as possible. It endears you to other people.

But the possum just doesn't understand.

He gives bad first impressions.
He doesn't focus on points of connection, rather, he focuses on disconnection. He finds points to argue about and then rubs it in afterwards.
It's as though he wants to make people hate him, and then try to impress them with cheap talk afterwards. People get the shits!

Every time he leaves the room, the first conversation everyone starts is: "what the fuck is with that guy? he is such a total cock!!"

it just oozes out of this guy. now i have to live with him. I feel like i effected small change but clearly nowhere near enough. You all probably understand what these people are like. Now imagine living with one.

Seriously, he was making jokes about beating women and 9/11, and just generally being a stupid bully. That's it, he's a bully - and like every bully, a coward.
He doesn't realise that everyone can see straight through his transparent layer of shit through to the core of total cockfacedness. When he left the room tonight, one guy summed it up perfectly by referring to him as "that guy that everybody seems to hate."

Anyway, i digress. You get the picture. I just find myself wondering these days "why did I move in with this guy?" In truth, he seemed ok when i only had to deal with little bits of it at a time. In some senses, he's gotten better - he used to be stressed out with work and was a total cock that everyone hated, but for some reason i was the first person to see through his transparent shit barrier and his cock personality didn't affect me. He has gotten more light-hearted these days but it is almost as bad as him stressed - just cos he talks a lot more - sigh !!

So why did i meet this guy? Is meeting him a message from the heavens of what I am not ever to become? It is an opposing example. "Don't Be Like This", say the gods. But why did I have to live with him for this long (since october 2004) to understand this? Every time it just gets worse and worse. Maybe I'm being forewarned about what not to turn in to.

Ah, some other things he does:

gamble, drink and smoke excessively
too lazy to get a license (he's 20), OR fix his bicycle (back tyre fucked for months now) so he can never get anywhere unless he guilts people into giving him a lift.

Then he had the nerve to come in tonight after everyone had left and say: "i was just double checking - but i think tonight went well and your friends liked me, what did you think?" (except he wouldn't say it with as much beautiful punctuation). Well, what am I to say? No one at all liked him. One girl even kicked him square in the balls and had him doubled up in pain on the floor. He deserved it, and it was hilarious...

Man, this is ridiculous. Why, gods, why did you make me live with him for so long? What are you trying to make me understand apart from "this guy sucks"?!?

So frustrating. But maybe only 6 weeks and I can move out. The finish line is coming into sight about .... now... Sigh.

Here's a picture of the ugly bastard:


UPDATE: After sleeping on it, I think I know what has changed since i met this guy. I think it has made my wit quicker, actually! To his credit, he is very quick at coming up with arguments for discussion. He can think of things to say very quickly, regardless of whether he believes it or not. I could never do this and it led to awkward silences when talking to girls. But now I see how he does it, and I have made my own version, which works even better than his does! Sure he's got the quickness but his wit is pathetic. He is also very cocky and I think that I now see how being cocky affects people (especially girls), but by knowing the possum I see what happens if you take it too far...