Li Yuchun and Yao Ming... Separated at birth??

Some amazing evidence regarding what is most likely China's best kept genetic engineering secret has been revealed today. China's 'Super Girl' Competition (超级女声) winner Li Yuchun (李宇春) and Houston Rockets superstar Yao Ming look disturbingly similar when their photos are juxtaposed for comparison.

The following photos are presented for your own comparison:







It is completely reasonable to deduce from these photos that China's cloning and genetic engineering experiments are going on now and most likely have been going on since before 1980, when Yao Ming (Codename: CCX-850912) was "born".

Do NOT give up. Do NOT give in. These experiments CAN be stopped. BE ACTIVE, SAVE THE WORLD.

Two-legged Jumping

Went to the park again today and practiced 2-legged jumps. I discovered that the trick, much like being on a trampoline, is to keep your knees locked when you hit the ground. That way the spring absorbs all the energy, and also flings you back up nice and high. If you bend your knees the energy is lost and you don't get high at all.

Anyhow, here's today's video.

Two-legged jumps!

Some good news

Huzzah! Today I went to the park to practice Powerising and after about 20 minutes of solid practice, I was finally able to do some two-legged jumps without falling over!!

No vids or pics today (I went alone), but if I improve enough to do something impressive, I'll make sure to get something. Anyhow, up and up from here!

I give up

That's it.. Spore... I've had it with you.

I gave you a second chance, you know. I played you once and gave you a bad review but you know, I still wanted to play you. Well you just had to fuck it all up again didn't you.

Why, Spore? Why do you have to interrupt my well-thought-out plans every 30 seconds with some inane crap like one pirate ship threatening a planet of 10 bases set up with defense turrets? All I wanted to do was build up my cities on another planet, organise myself a bit more, but nope. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME I try and do something I want to do in this game, you pull me away! It's like trying to have a conversation with someone while someone else constantly interrupts you by saying "Look at how boring I am!" and then running away as soon as you turn your head.

And not just that. What is with your missions? I have counted about four, and someone has pressed 'Shuffle Songs' on them:

1: Scan planet for life forms
2: Abduct someone or something
3: Laser some "infected" animals

...

Sorry, it's only three.

In all honesty, I WISH this game was actually good! But you know what? It's not. It's not at all well thought out technically (where are the god damn key commands?), nor does the fun last any longer than it takes for one to realise that they're just sitting there with little to no choice in anything, and that they're just at the whim of a pseudo-random number generator telling the game when to send the next wave of pissant pirates to their death above my base, while INSISTING on my presence every single god damn time. Over, and over, and over again. To put it simply, I hate being interrupted and I don't like having to click my mouse so many times!

I give up on you Spore. You make me glad I never paid for you.

My review of Spore

Spore, the "sim-everything" from Will Wright, certainly was an ambitious project. Claiming to be the "jack of all games", it had a lot of promise! Well, for me the game that was full of promise seemed not to reach its full potential.

The game starts off promisingly. As with many games when you first load them up, it's always a little bit exciting. Then I realise that there's some kind of bug and the sound doesn't play correctly when coming through my MOTU828 audio interface. So, I try to quit to change the audio settings and the computer freezes. Even apple-tab doesn't work. NOTHING works, not even num lock. So, force power down... grr. I then try it again using headphones plugged straight into my macbook pro. This time silence. What the hell? I finally quit and restart it with the sound only coming out of the dinky macbook pro speakers. Oh well, it'll have to do.

The game consists of a number of different evolutionary stages, where the game changes at each point. The first stage is a 2D game where you swim around eating stuff (think Pacman). Then you evolve legs, go out of the water, and wander around beating up stuff and eating it. Then you make a tribe and it's a frighteningly simple RTS game. Then eventually you take over the planet and go to space where it's a space fighting/trading game. Sounds good, right?

Well yes, it DOES sound good. But the problem, and I'm not the only one to say it (and I can't be bothered finding a reference), is that each of these games are not good enough! For instance, the RTS stage is painfully simple, and even on the hardest difficulty it took me no more than 5 seconds to kill anything I could see. Before the space stage, the RTS stage appears to be the stage where one spends the most time, and to tell the truth, I think it is the most fun part of the game because...

The space stage is so unbelievably FRUSTRATING. You've got your home planet and your spaceship, and you have to colonise other planets by kidnapping and depositing plants and animals, collect various types of Spice for trading, and interact with other characters, making alliances and enemies as you quest towards the centre of the galaxy. Ok, sounds like Privateer, or countless other games I can't remember the names of. And hey, I LIKED those games, but Spore's version of it is so frustrating it was all I could do to stop from smashing my computer.

For 1 thing, the individual colonies on each planet, which are required to produce the spice that you'll need to trade, are painfully simple. You only have 4 choices of buildings - factories for money, houses for people to live in, entertainment of whatever time to make them happy, and turrets for defense. So EVERY city I made was 1 factory, 1 entertainment, 4 houses, and some turrets. Then, I realised that the turrets were COMPLETELY USELESS because every single time I was doing something else (like making one of the mind-numbingly repetitive trips to collect the spice from every planet individually (where's the fucking automation for that!??)), I'd get an "ALERT" saying that some hostiles were attacking one of my armed-to-the-teeth colonies and that they desperately require my attention. So I go and it's about 4 low-hit-point spaceships slowly flying over my city, not even attacking, and the turrets aren't shooting them down anyway. OK so I got to kill them, which was fun the first 10 times but how come EVERY SINGLE TIME I do something on the other side of the galaxy one of my apparently useless turret wielding 4-building colonies cry for help? One time I was bombing the crap out of one "enemy empire" on their home planet when I get an alert that these same guys have sent one peon to fly around in a fairly relaxed manner near one of my colonies, causing me to have to go back! So... fucking... frustrating.

Also:

1. Controls are stupid, and unchangeable (where's the reverse mouse Y-axis setting you fucks?)
2. Game is painfully simple, and then painfully frustrating.

Overall it looks nice and is kind of fun, cos you can create your own shit (which actually gets boring after about the 8th time), but I can't imagine it having a life longer than about 3 days.

Oh also the DRM is apparently stupid, but I wouldn't know.

Falling off the powerisers

Well, I tried the two-foot jump, only to fall over! And then, well, couldn't get up.

More study of getting up unassisted required.

Don't laugh! (17mb QT)

First go on the 'risers!

Went to the park to try out the powerisers for the first time. So much fun, although so very tiring. And I need to adjust them a bit to make them not rub in weird and painful places.



Also, a vid!

Ice Cold Max on the powerisers!

The Arrival

After a brief scare, caused by the EMS tracking reports saying "Return to Sender - Address Incomplete" and the frantic, bad-Japanese phone call to the post office made by yours truly to correct the problem, my new toys have arrived :)

Everyone, meet the future cause of countless broken bones, sprained ankles and god knows what else:





They weigh about 4kg each. They came in a dented box that looked like it was about to fall apart, with no packaging around the individual units apart from some plastic sleeves on the springs and knee-cushion. Was it like that from the start? Or was it from the day it spent in Customs. Well, who knows. The units are intact. Now, I just have to wait until tomorrow to try them out! More photos to come!

Those Sneaky Chinese...

I am awaiting the delivery of my Flying Jumpers from Hong Kong this week. After paying US$60 for express delivery, I was told to expect them 2 days after they were posted. Moreover, I was told they were posted on Saturday, i.e. 4 days ago.

After trying my EMS Tracking number in the Japanese EMS site and getting an "Item Not Found" response, I start getting a bit anxious. Then, after an oh-duh moment, I find the Chinese EMS webpage and put the code in there.

2008-09-02 20:20:00
HANGZHOU
Posting
　
2008-09-02 21:39:55
HANGZHOU
Arrival
at Sorting
Center
　
2008-09-02 22:35:25
HANGZHOU
Despatch
from Sorting Center

Those sneaky Chinese! They lied to me! It was only posted yesterday!

Argh, I can't wait for my jumping stilts!!

Digging up the causes of overtime work in Japan

Very interesting article here about the Japanese work ethic. Their (over-)working has often appeared to Westerners as a sign of "Japanese Determination" or Diligence or whatever the hell you want to call it, but as I've told a number of people already, it's just that they are wildly inefficient, with no clear boundaries about their own responsibility or authority. That's what makes them work so long - it takes twice as long for anything to get done!

Still, I don't blame the individual. Even JPs who agree with this know that it's not that people WANT to work from 6am-11pm every day, but the system is so archaic and... well.. BROKEN... and, well, there's little they can do about it. In truth, I kind of feel sorry for them.

The lines demarcating an individual's authority are unclear, which means that the limits of responsibility are also unclear. Employees are never clearly instructed about their own authority and responsibility. It seems to me that the root of the problem of excessive work habits in Japan lies here. In an organization where the authority-responsibility structure is unclear, employees are unable to make their own decisions and must constantly refer to their superiors. But because these superiors are also unclear about their own authority, they can't make responsible decisions. Problems just get shuffled around and everyone ends up working longer hours.

Too right there. Take my experience the other day at a Tokyo Post Office (notorious for this kind of inefficiency). I went there to pay the fee for the yearly Japanese test I want to take this year. I had to pay, and then post the receipt with my application form by certified mail. So I go in, and there are two windows. One says "Postal Savings and Insurance", the other "Mail". So I go to the mail one.

"Can I pay this fee and post this off by certified mail please?"
"Oh sorry, you have to take a number and pay at the next window."
"But I want to post th..."
"Next window."

So I got the number. And waited. And waited and waited and waited. There were only about 10 customers in the whole place, and about 6 staff behind the counters. But only ONE staff member handling the waiting customers at the non-mail window. The frustrating thing was that the two women manning the completely unoccupied mail window were sitting there in some kind of eyes-open meditative state. I looked at them with a kind of "get off your fucking arse" look and one jumped to her feet and started rummaging through a folder of documents.

Pissed as I was, it was nearly my turn. Finally I get to the window.

"I am in a hurry, can I please pay this and post it by certified mail?"
"Well, you can pay it here, but you'll have to go to the Mail window to post it off."

Step 1: Pay fee.
Step 2: Left-strafe 20cm.
Step 3: Post.
Step 4: Facepalm.

Spending Time in Preparation

For what, you may ask? Wait and see!

I hate television, especially Japanese television!

I hate television.

Wait, let me clarify. I like some television shows. I hate sitting down in front of a television at a time set by the TV station, then to have my show interrupted by ads for things I won't buy.

I HAAAAAAAAAAATE it. So much that I NEVER do it.

"Oh, you should watch TV while you're in Japan, Dave!" says probably everyone, "You'll learn the culture!"

Yeah well I don't give a crap! I'm learning about Jap culture well enough by talking to people.

The point of this blog entry, however, is to vent my furious, burning anger after watching less than one hour of the Japanese Olympic coverage.

So last night, I pull out my dusty inherited TV from its covered-with-towels-and-boxes hidden spot (since I NEVER watch it anyway) and turn it on to NHK. Cool, the opening ceremony. Ok let's watch for a bit.

Ok that was pretty cool I guess. A bit boring now that all the people are just walking around. What's this? Everyone's coming out in different order? I wonder why that is... hmm what does the net say.. ooohhh it's because they're coming out in Chinese stroke-order order. Wow.. so.. CHINESE.

Ok well I'm bored now, I'm turning it off and going out drinking and Karaoke or something.

Wow! Drunk! Bed Time!

Ok I just woke up and remembered that the Olympics are on. Turn on the TV from bed and ... wow, Judo! Australian TV never had Judo! Watch watch watch...

Well this is OK I guess. But this isn't NHK, it's TV Tokyo. What does NHK have on? Oh, some drama. Weird, there are surely heaps of sports on... Oh well, back to TV Tokyo. Hmm, Judo still. How long is this going to... hey.. HEY.. WAIT A SECOND.. I've already SEEN this one. Why are they showing it again? Ok so some Japanese girl won a Judo match. But I saw this just before? Even the commentary is the same. They've just pressed 'replay' or something. Man what other sports are on... *checks internet*... beach volleyball!! God damn it Japs, show me some Europeans in bikinis!

Ok fuck this i'll just eat breakfast and maybe it'll change.

Nope, still Judo, although at least other countries are being shown now. Hmm surely NHK will have some coverage soon.. *switches channels*

WTF? The opening ceremony again? Come on, the olympic schedule says there are like a million different things on today!

Sigh, back to TV Tokyo, and... what's this? Oh for fuck's sake, JUDO again. A Japanese guy this time, who loses by one point. Flash back to the commentators (one poncy looking guy and 3 ditzy bitches) and they're discussing some loophole in the system where the best of the people who lose their judo matches have a chance to progress to the next round anyway. Typical Japs, can't win anything so they have to find some obscure way to get through. Ok finally these idiots have stopped talking, back to the action. .... Wait a minute... what? NO! It's that replay of the one Jap girl's Judo match AGAIN. For the FUCKING 3RD TIME THIS HOUR!!!

Here's an idea, I'll go to the NHK website and see if they have a tv program or broadcast schedule for it.. Ok here we are. Let's see. 1:50pm - Opening Ceremony replay, followed by an hour or so of Men's Gymnastics. News at 6:40-6:45, then...

JUDO.

The SAME FUCKING JUDO that's been on TV all day!!

FUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously the guy whose car is directly below my balcony would be well advised to park it across the street for then next few days, lest a moderately heavy CRT television comes falling from the sky!

Fun with Fireworks

Step 1: Buy fireworks.
Step 2: Set camera to maximum exposure time.
Step 3: Set fire to tip of firework (hand-held type).
Step 4: Spin the arm that is holding the firework in the largest straight-armed circle you can.
Step 5: While spinning, get someone else to take the photo.

Result:

Oh it's urgent alright.

More HDR fun

In a similar vein to Tuesday's effort, here are some HDR photos of some more sakura and another bridge.

Bottled water - in a can!

I know this can be found elsewhere on the internet, but I found it at my local supermarket and couldn't resist taking a photo of it. Good English, Jappy-japs!

Fun with HDR

I decided today to try my hand at making some HDR photos. The photos are of some cherry blossoms in Sansuna Park, and the New Koto Bridge, both in Koto-ku, Tokyo. Software used was Photomatix Pro 3.0 - very simple and fast. Next time I'll give it a go with photoshop. For now, enjoy!

What the hell is this thing? A rubbish bin?

Taken on the bridge near the Yumenoshima Marina, Koto-ku, Tokyo, Japan.

I knew I was fast, but not THAT fast.

Take it as strong encouragement to learn touch typing. Alex, I'm talking to you.

100 words

Into the second year...

And so the second year of the Ice Cold JAPAN Experience begins! As of Sunday, the 24th of February anyway. Here's hoping for another exciting and adventurous year in the Land of the Rising Sun!

これからも、よろしくね！

An icy day for the Ice Cold Max

It's been snowing for about 12 hours straight in Tokyo! Here are a couple of pics.

Roll your own

Came across this unbelievable story tonight on digg.com

Can you believe that?!  Imagine, there you are thinking you've met the person of your dreams, someone so similar in so many ways, both adopted, etc.  Things start heating up and then one night, you go out, have a few glasses of vino rosso, head back to the pad where things really start heating up... oh god!

Before you know it, you're head over heels for this person.  A strong, magnetic, almost impossibly perfect relationship seems to plan itself out in front of you.  You can see the whole future ahead of you and you feel completely satisfied with it... and then... and then... ...!!!! Oh god it is just too unbelievable...

You've gotta feel for these two.  Jesus, if that was me I'd be lopping off my third leg, gouging out my eyes and loading myself up on so many drugs until I forgot what the hell had happened.   God only knows how much therapy they'll be needing!

Back in JP

Arrived this morning after a grueling 27 hours or so of travelling -  Canberra to Sydney (bus), Sydney to Singapore, Singapore to Narita, Narita to Tokyo (Skyliner)...  I came home, ate some sushi and then went straight to sleep for 4 hours. 

I don't know what people mean when they say "The journey is half the fun":  sitting in a plane doing fuck all for hours on end doesn't really float my boat...!

Anyway, back in the big city and looking forward to another adventurous year!

Summer Holidays

Spent the last 3 weeks back in sunny Australia.  The first week and a half or so was in Adelaide visiting Mum, Peter, Simon et al, and the second week and a half spent in Canberra with friends from back in the day.

Most noticeable thing when arriving back in Australia?  The smell of the gum trees.  Such an unmistakeable smell...  Nice, though!

It's a strange point in my life, I feel.  After spending ten months in Japan, and knowing that I am returning for at least that again, coming to Australia was "going on holidays" rather than "going home".  In all seriousness, going back to Tokyo now feels more like I'm "going home".

Furthermore, three weeks was just too damn long for this holiday.  I remember before I came how happy I was at the thought of three weeks doing SFA, but now I couldn't be more excited to be going back to that crazy, adventure filled Tokyo life. 

Anyway, thanks to everyone for making my stay as enjoyable as it was!  It was a damn good holiday and I'll be back in December!