I hate television, especially Japanese television!

I hate television.

Wait, let me clarify. I like some television shows. I hate sitting down in front of a television at a time set by the TV station, then to have my show interrupted by ads for things I won't buy.

I HAAAAAAAAAAATE it. So much that I NEVER do it.

"Oh, you should watch TV while you're in Japan, Dave!" says probably everyone, "You'll learn the culture!"

Yeah well I don't give a crap! I'm learning about Jap culture well enough by talking to people.

The point of this blog entry, however, is to vent my furious, burning anger after watching less than one hour of the Japanese Olympic coverage.

So last night, I pull out my dusty inherited TV from its covered-with-towels-and-boxes hidden spot (since I NEVER watch it anyway) and turn it on to NHK. Cool, the opening ceremony. Ok let's watch for a bit.

Ok that was pretty cool I guess. A bit boring now that all the people are just walking around. What's this? Everyone's coming out in different order? I wonder why that is... hmm what does the net say.. ooohhh it's because they're coming out in Chinese stroke-order order. Wow.. so.. CHINESE.

Ok well I'm bored now, I'm turning it off and going out drinking and Karaoke or something.

Wow! Drunk! Bed Time!

Ok I just woke up and remembered that the Olympics are on. Turn on the TV from bed and ... wow, Judo! Australian TV never had Judo! Watch watch watch...

Well this is OK I guess. But this isn't NHK, it's TV Tokyo. What does NHK have on? Oh, some drama. Weird, there are surely heaps of sports on... Oh well, back to TV Tokyo. Hmm, Judo still. How long is this going to... hey.. HEY.. WAIT A SECOND.. I've already SEEN this one. Why are they showing it again? Ok so some Japanese girl won a Judo match. But I saw this just before? Even the commentary is the same. They've just pressed 'replay' or something. Man what other sports are on... *checks internet*... beach volleyball!! God damn it Japs, show me some Europeans in bikinis!

Ok fuck this i'll just eat breakfast and maybe it'll change.

Nope, still Judo, although at least other countries are being shown now. Hmm surely NHK will have some coverage soon.. *switches channels*

WTF? The opening ceremony again? Come on, the olympic schedule says there are like a million different things on today!

Sigh, back to TV Tokyo, and... what's this? Oh for fuck's sake, JUDO again. A Japanese guy this time, who loses by one point. Flash back to the commentators (one poncy looking guy and 3 ditzy bitches) and they're discussing some loophole in the system where the best of the people who lose their judo matches have a chance to progress to the next round anyway. Typical Japs, can't win anything so they have to find some obscure way to get through. Ok finally these idiots have stopped talking, back to the action. .... Wait a minute... what? NO! It's that replay of the one Jap girl's Judo match AGAIN. For the FUCKING 3RD TIME THIS HOUR!!!

Here's an idea, I'll go to the NHK website and see if they have a tv program or broadcast schedule for it.. Ok here we are. Let's see. 1:50pm - Opening Ceremony replay, followed by an hour or so of Men's Gymnastics. News at 6:40-6:45, then...

JUDO.

The SAME FUCKING JUDO that's been on TV all day!!

FUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously the guy whose car is directly below my balcony would be well advised to park it across the street for then next few days, lest a moderately heavy CRT television comes falling from the sky!